love my job; don’t want to go to work tomorrow November 15, 2009

The mentoring part of my job is getting me down.  It bothers me that I have to do so much paperwork.  It bothers me that I have to spend so much time doing observations and conferences that I don’t really get to do much coaching.  It bothers me that I don’t know if I’m actually being helpful to anyone.  It bothers me that I’m asking teachers to do extra work and they haven’t been paid (nor have I) for all the points they earned last year doing this program.

It bothers me that I can’t just shut the door and concentrate on my four year olds.

This is the week I’m going to go in and talk to the Prince, and let him know that this will be the last year I’m a mentor, unless things change for the better.

On my worst days, I don’t know if what we’re doing has helped at all.

maybe we’re not going under August 27, 2008

As I said in this post last week, my principal (the Prince) really pushed back at me last week when I challenged him on our NCLB status and some other things.  On Monday we had someone from the district come out to talk to us in very clear, positive language about our status as a 6th year school, and what that means for us.  And oddly enough, it doesn’t mean that much.

The district is unlikely to fresh-start us, as they have done it a few times with uncertain results and much bad publicity.  So for us, restructuring means coming up with a plan to make changes and improve results, and, well….we are doing that already.  And the district is going to support us along the way.

Then today at our meeting some rumors spread that we don’t actually have to change our literacy program (um, what literacy program?!) and we don’t have to do reader’s and writer’s workshops until next year.  People were getting confused and concerned and I could see all the work we did last year (to get a book room set up, and get people learning how to assess reading levels, and use leveled books) going up in flames. 

Then Wonder Woman’s replacement (I haven’t come up with a nickname for her yet) got up, and in three short minutes, in a quiet, gentle voice, made it clear what the plan is and put everything to rights.  People clapped for her and one teacher commented to another, “I like her already!”  When she sat down next to me, I whispered, “well done!” and I meant it.

Phew, our efforts to improve our reading program were not torpedoed.

And our test scores did improve, even though they didn’t improve by the 10% mandated by NCLB.

So things just might be okay.

The Prince stands up to me August 20, 2008

Yesterday at our mentor/master teacher meeting, we met Wonder Woman’s replacement, and at her request, went through our end of the year notes on what worked, what didn’t, and what we want to do differently this year.  I was rather pointed in my concerns — lack of leadership, bad test scores, being at the final stage under No Child Left Behind — and the Prince gave me a bit of a smackdown.

It was great.

I’m not sure that any one else at the table knew what was going on, as it was between the lines, but it was clear that he was talking about me, and about Wonder Woman, as he expressed his concerns about gossip and negativity (zing!  that might totally be true) and he pointed out that our test scores are not getting worse, they’re just not increasing fast enough to meet NCLB’s moving targets.

So suddenly I was rethinking things, like perhaps Wonder Woman was too negative about the school, and perhaps I was too quick to agree with everything she said, and….maybe I was wrong.  And as for our scores, and our AYP status, he may be right that we are improving (just not quickly enough), and that the district has no plans to shut us down.

I was delighted to have him show some spine, and some anger, and to see that he is fighting.

So, I decided to be on his side.  And I’m not bummed about going back to work anymore.

Adequate yearly progress August 6, 2008

My school has not made it off the list.  We’ve been on it for years and now we have arrived at the last stop, restructuring.

Why haven’t we made it off the list?  Is it our failure?  Did our mentoring program fail us?  Or is one year too short a time to make changes?  Would replacing the staff help or hurt?  Is it impossible to make it off the list, given our demographics (large numbers of children who fall into one or more of these categories:  poverty, special ed, African American, Hispanic, English Language Learners)?

What will the Prince, our kind and well-meaning principal, do with this information?  What will he tell us at the beginning of the year?  Will he tell us, as he has each preceeding year, not to worry about it?  Or will he get serious, set standards, hold teachers accountable, and start fighting?

And how am I going to let go, emotionally?  My summer is draining away rapidly, I still have things to cross off my summer to-do list, and I feel like I’m about to go over a waterfall.