mean girls

Tuesday:  Chutney got off the bus and told me, “M___ said a bad word to me!”  She was almost in tears.  (M___ is the fifth grader she has a crush on.)  Turns out the bad word was the “b” word.  Who calls a four year old girl a “b”?!!  I tracked down our behavior specialist, and told her what happened.  She talked to M___ and called his mother.  Chutney had a hard morning.

Wednesday:  Chutney got off the bus and told me, “some girls were being mean to me.”  She was in tears.  Turns out two older girls (sixth graders?) told her that they were going to “cut” her.  I comforted her, and tracked down the behavior specialist again, who was quite concerned.  She talked to the older girls and called their mothers.  Chutney showed a lot of attitude and was defiant when I asked her to settle down.

Thursday:  Chutney got off the bus and stood away from our cubbies, looking angry.  “I’m not coming in!  I hate school!”  Turns out that the two girls who got in trouble yesterday were angry and arguing with her on the bus.  Right around then a girl ran through the hall and knocked Pumpkin to the floor and didn’t even stop to see if he was okay.  Pumpkin was fine (he thought it was kind of funny, actually), but I was mad.  When I grabbed her when she came through again, Chutney said, “that’s one of the girls!”  So I talked to her, and she was very defensive.  “She got us into trouble, and we were only joking!”  I had to explain that preschoolers aren’t going to understand a “joke” about cutting people.  She was indignant; I was really frustrated.  I had a number of crises on my hands all morning, but when I finally got hold of the behavior specialist, she said that M___ had been involved, too.  M___  and the two older girls are all now suspended from the bus for a few days.  Chutney ended up in the take a break chair for being disruptive.

Side note:  The behavior specialist told me that she talked to Chutney’s mother (how? I asked.  I’ve been trying to call her for a month!) and that Chutney’s mother was very upset and angry and said she might pull Chutney out of school.

Great.  Make a decision like that without even talking to your daughter’s teacher.  I’ve got an out of date number for Mom, it turns out, and so have been pinning notes to Chutney’s backpack asking her to call me with her new number.  One of the notes was on Chutney’s backpack for four days….I guess she never looks at her child’s backpack when she gets home from school.  Not surprising; Chutney’s Friday Folder almost always comes back filled with the homework and newsletters that I put in it, untouched.  Chutney’s mother never responded to any of my notes.  I called her again today, with the right number, and left her a message asking her to call me.

Then bam, got a migraine.

Friday:  Chutney stayed home from school.

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4 thoughts on “mean girls

  1. To be blunt, parents like that should have their children taken away from them. That kind of neglect should be considered child abuse. What a disgrace. I can only imagine what kind of lip service you are going to get if Mom ever calls you back!

  2. Institutrice, I’m not sure I follow. Chutney’s mom should lose her child because she never calls her child’s teacher and doesn’t respond to notes? Or the big kids’ mothers should lose them because they were being mean to a four year old on the bus? I don’t think I would agree with either.

    As a follow up, Chutney didn’t come to school Monday, either, so I called Mom again, and then notified the school social worker. If Chutney’s not back by tomorrow, she’ll make a home visit.

    • Update: Chutney’s mom called me today. She said she has sent me several emails (I never got them, so I got her email address and sent her an email right after our phone call so she’d have my contact info), and that she has called several times when I’m not here, and the office didn’t give her my voicemail. She also said that with two children younger than Chutney, and a job, and being in school, it is hard for her to find the time to call me. We had a good conversation about lots of things, and I feel that some good communication was established. She is a very nice person, and since Chutney is such a smart and sweet girl, she must be a good mother, too.

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