The mother I’ve been talking about is kind of a wreck. However, she is a good mother, in lots of ways.
Her children have about 500 books. No, she doesn’t read to her children (I’m guessing, as of yesterday, that she can’t), but their father does, sometimes, and the kids like to look at their books.
She showed up to her parent conference. She didn’t want to, but she did.
She dresses her daughter appropriately for school and for bad weather. The little one shows up in clean, nice, well-fitting clothes. She has snowpants and warm boots, a good jacket, hat, scarf, and mittens. And she knows how to put them on and take them off by herself. (This is big stuff, which you might not realize if you are not the teacher of urban, low-income kids. Many of my kids come to school in clothes that are too big or too tight, and that smell of their mothers’ cigarette smoke. They have no boots, no snowpants, jackets that don’t fit (and have broken zippers and aren’t warm enough anyway), and they often have no mittens.
And when she comes to pick her daughter up early some days, the little one says, “Mama!” and hugs her, and Mom hugs back, and both of them are glowing.
Elbows, knees, dreams 
It just goes to show that maturity has nothing to do with economics. (In my opinion.)
Can you say more about what you mean here? I’m curious to know what you mean by maturity, and why you see it in this particular mother.
Sure…
She showed up to a parenting conference – can do things she doesn’t want to do when she needs to.
She dresses her kid appropriately – she is aware that her child needs a parent not a friend and it also means she can see past her own needs. I assume the kid doesn’t smell of smoke like others, and she may well be giving things up (she’s poor, right) in order for her kid to wear the right clothing.
Her child can dress and undress herself – she’s aware that life-skills will help her kid get by.
And most importantly – they greet each other with excitement and love. Maturity to me is about emotional intelligence, which can be taught, but actually happens naturally in an affectionate household.
Hope this clarifies. 🙂
Thank you for helping me to see her in yet another light. And thanks for visiting my blog!
My pleasure, on both counts. Have a great day/night whatever your time zone!
You have done a great job here of recognizing the successes of this mom – but how hard to be the keeper of the light when there is such despair. Good luck.